Young woman in grief looking at the sea

Losing the love of my life

No ‘Best Kept Secret‘ audio would be complete without Doña’s quirky comment. She has become one of the most beloved listeners on our platform, always bringing her unique energy to the comment section.

However, a very sad story is what brought her to BKS. Doña lost her husband in a tragic accident, and audio erotica offers her solace, providing the sensation of being ‘someone else’s whole world’—a feeling she lost when her husband passed away.

Doña shares her story as a reminder to cherish our loved ones every day, because we never know how long we may have left with them.

Young couple in love watching horses

He bullied me until I fell in love

Mine and my husband’s fathers both worked as horse trainers on the same racetrack in Puerto Rico so our families had been friends for many years. I went to middle school with his sister, and that’s when he started bullying me lol.

He was a pain in my ass, oh my gawd. He would call me names and say some harsh things. At one point, he even tried to push me. But, to his misfortune, I never backed out of a fight, so I nearly kicked his ass hahahaha. He thought I was easy prey.

This treatment would go on even when we moved on to high school. Geeshh, almost everyday we were at each others throats! I remember, when our families had gatherings on the weekends, his sister would bother him saying that cupid bit him in the ass hahaha. If he hated me so much, why does he bother to be everywhere I go? 

I remember my mother’s advice: “Boys act that way because they like the girl. They act like little shits. So what you should do the next time he comes with his annoying crap is just give him a chance and talk to him!” And I did…I told him to shut his face and get on with whatever he wants to tell me to make our lives easier. He did try to be a huge bully, but at the end he told me how he felt… and I told him I hated him. I was 15 and he was 17. This was 1996. 

Young couple in love walking on a beach in Puerto Rico

Our young love

The first kiss with my husband…  that is when I knew that he will forever be my beloved and I his. He was so gentle and so sweet. Ufffff sometimes he would act so stupid but in the end I found his annoying attitude funny and endearing.

And the dates! Oh my, I loved our dates!!! He would wait for me after school and after homework we would go out on our weird little dates. They were mostly at the beaches. Since we lived on the Island, our favorite spot was the Luquillo beach or El Yunque rain forest. Oh my, our home has such lovely places! 

If we didn’t feel like going to the beaches, we’d go to the racetrack and watch the horse racing or he’d come over to my house and we’d play video games or go out to a fast food restaurant and then the movies. 

He would visit me nonstop. He was afraid of my dad but that didn’t stop him from coming to see me. He tried his best to be romantic, my beautiful boy. But he was always forgiven lol, we were young adults!

P.S. BKS has created an audio piece inspired by Doña’s love story. If you’d like to revisit this beautiful tale, give it a listen HERE.

Young happy couple on their honeymoon in New York

Becoming a family

I gave myself to him when I was 17 and he was 19. In 1999 he blessed me with two beautiful baby boys. And after we had been together for almost 7 years (wow!) he asked me to marry him in 2003. 

A beautiful young love. He was such a wonderful husband, father and a man. He loved and cherished us. He took care of our little family. I miss those moments. I always think about those sweet moments we had together.

We were married on the 14th of February of 2004. What a wonderful day to get married right?!! I was 23 and he was 25 at the time. Our wedding was a small one with friends and family. Oh, it was beautiful! It was at my home in the countryside where we had acres and acres of land. It was a tropical paradise! My forever beloved was so gorgeous on that day; he was a very beautiful man.  

And oh my gaaaaawd, our honeymoon! We went out to the motherland (USA) for the very first time. Ohhh it was so much fun! We went to NYC and how I loved walking in Manhattan! Being in the Big Apple was amazing! 

The only thing I didn’t like is the cold weather lol. My young husband loved NYC so much, he was all over the place lol. It was so much fun, so exciting! We got to see the US for the first time, it was just… love love love. 

And how did we end our honeymoon? As always, sweet, exquisite, gentle, romantic. He made me feel like I was the queen of his world.

Masculine man riding a horse on a dark stormy day

Losing the love of my life

Oh my heart. I never talk about this because I don’t want to go back to that dark moment again. It breaks me so much I have tears in my eyes while I write this down. 

After high school, my husband decided to go into the riding business with his father. He wasn’t a race horse jockey, he was too big for that but he did become an assistant trainer working alongside his father. 

The horse racing business is a fun but also very dangerous job. You have to know how to handle those majestic beasts and you can’t show them fear because they will feel very uncomfortable. Horses are beautiful animals but gaaaaaawwwddd they can be lunatics.

It was in the morning when my husband was taking out a horse to gallop on the track. He was training a 2 year old baby horse so by next year the horse would be ready to run its first race. That morning that baby wasn’t having it. It didn’t want to jog and it was not cooperating with his trainer. My husband tried to take him back to the barn, the horse got spooked, it went out of control and was running everywhere. 

My husband tried to stop him and calm the beast down. But he was dropped and his foot was stuck in the stirrup. He was being dragged everywhere… 

My beloved was 32 when he passed away. We had been together for a lifetime, from 1996 until April 26, 2011. We were together for 15 years, since we were teenagers. And it still pains me to talk about it.

Young woman in grief

Life after his death

Oh my, those days were the darkest for me. I felt so alone, so incomplete without my beloved. He took a part of me with him. There were days that I would lock myself in my room and cry nonstop. 

There was one point that I just couldn’t see myself live any longer because I wanted to reunite with him. I stopped eating, I didn’t want to speak with anyone. I stopped taking showers. I stopped taking care of myself. I didn’t want to live. It was just painful to lose someone you grew up with and loved all your life. 

I had wonderful support in my family as well as with his. I realized that I couldn’t let myself go. It’s not my time to leave, and I had two precious little people who needed me. Who needed me to shower them with so much love. For my babies, I accepted help from both families and I started going to family therapy to learn how to better deal with my grief and to treat my depression.

The most memorable thing that was said to me was by his mother. She told me to always remember him how he lived and not how he died. Remember him as the carefree, fun loving, painfully annoying young man. Remember him as the loving man, husband, and father he was. And always remember that, even after death, I will always remain his forever beloved.

My boys always tell me constantly: “Always remember our father being a badass, always being funny and sometimes irritable when he felt like it” lol. And they would say that if I don’t stop crying, their dad will come back and pinch my butt and then never speak to me again. That their dad never liked to see their mamá be sad. Lol my babies, just as funny and sweet as their father. Now they take care of me! And they call me their pain in the butt mamá hahaha.

Woman in grief standing in front of a lake

Dealing with the grief

I was depressed for a very long time. I did not know how to deal with grief well. But as soon as I got support from family and friends and accepted to go to therapy to better deal with my pain and emotions, I became stronger. 

I have moved on, I have taken care of our children the way he would have wanted if he was still here with us. And I never think about the darkest days. I think about our happier moments and that is what keeps me going.

To the lovelies who have gone through the experiences that I have gone through, I repeat the words that were once said to me. Always remember your loved ones the way they have lived. Never remember their death. Remember how they were in life. Remember how they loved you, cherished you, valued you and respected you. Even after death you will always be their beloved. Keep him alive in your dreams, your thoughts, and your heart. As I do! And my days always shine. 

Remember you are beautiful, you are strong, you are great, you are important! Put on some lipstick, get outside and enjoy life how your beloved would have wanted you to.

Happy husband and wife hugging

Audio Erotica… It’s like I am listening to my husband

OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAWWWWDDD!!!! How I love the BKS community! 

I enjoy listening to a lot of ASMR and roleplay. It helps me to relax when I can’t sleep. I saw BKS in my recommendations, when I was looking for some audios on YouTube. This was back in uuummmmm 2020? I don’t remember the name of the audio but, oh holy mother of @#$%&(?!☆︎¤《¡¿ it was the first time i heard my beloved Mr. Robinson!!!!!!!! My internet boooooyfriiieeeend!!!! Lol oh my god can I say that here?

At that moment I subscribed to BKS right away! I am forever loyal to BKS and the community! I am into sweet romance and then steamy exquisite love. When I hear those kinds of audios, my heart flutters and I feel goosebumps all over. In a good way!

When I listen to the audios, I just let my imagination run its course. It’s like I am listening to my husband tell me the stories, when the VAs narrate. I feel comfortable! BKS, thank you for taking care of me and the lovelies here!

Supportive and loving community of women

Community where I feel safe and loved

It has been over 3 years that I have been part of the BKS community, and oooohhhh I love it so much! The first audios I heard were SFW and I loved them. But when I subscribed and heard the NSFW parts… OOOOHHHH  AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I screamed because the audios are so luscious, so exquisitely beautiful.

The way women are treated in the BKS storylines are just… they are treated with love, and respect. They are cherished, worshiped and showered with so much devotion in the stories. Women are not degraded as they are in porn. It is such a safe and respectful community. I feel very safe and loved here. 


Thank you so much for letting me share my love story, it was an honor!

Doña Yayi





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