We’ve always heard it said, “Size doesn’t matter, it’s how you use it.” But do we really believe that? To settle the debate once and for all, we did a study asking our female listeners: What truly makes a man a champion in the sheets?
The Data
First things first, let’s address the elephant in the room – the size of his, ahem, ‘manhood.’ Only 51 women, barely scratching 4% of our respondents, said they cared about that particular detail. So gents, less fretting over the measuring tape and more focus on the real game changers!
What are these game changers you ask? Well, 1,444 women have spoken, and here’s their playbook:
Emotional Connection Takes the Crown
Ladies love a man who can connect with them emotionally. A staggering 70% of all respondents chose ‘He establishes emotional connection first and foremost’ as the most desirable trait in bed.
Echoing the sentiments of many, one respondent wrote: “An absolute yes for me first will be the connection. In order to have a healthy relationship and a deliciously fun and exquisite sex life there has to be a connection, lots of chemistry, communication, and trust.”
“Someone who really cares about you, period. If they care, you are more comfortable with them and therefore communication is going to be better and that is everything! With communication you can explore so much more and find what what works for both (or more of you 😜 )” another participant elaborated.
Clearly, what’s between the ears matters more than what’s between the legs!
Read The Room
Being responsive to her mood is critical, say 61% of women. Is she digging her nails into your back or letting out passionate breaths during the rough stuff? Chances are, she’s craving more. Mixed signals? Dial it back. Gentle touches and soft kisses? Mirror her tenderness. And please, save the handcuffs for another night.
“Them wanting to know how I am doing, feeling, what I want more of, etc., as well as them telling me (with words or clear body language) how they are doing during sex, regardless of if it’s intimate and sensual, or crazy and wild, or role-playing, or even just a quickie… communication is essential to what makes someone an adequate lover versus a GREAT lover whom I’ll want again and again!” says a participant of the study.
Every movement, every breath, every sound is a note
, hinting at what’s hitting the right spot. If she sighs, moans, or clings to you when you do something – that’s your sign to keep doing the exact same thing (and I mean exactly the same, because moving away quarter of an inch could ruin that sweet spot.)Moans Aren’t Only For Women
It seems silence isn’t always golden, especially between the sheets. According to 58% of our respondents, the sound of a man enjoying himself is an instant turn-on. So guys, un-mute those moans and unleash your vocal cords. Hearing a man enjoy himself can be incredibly sexy, so don’t hold it in.
“I love a man who is very vocal and expressive. I melt in the man’s hands when he talks dirty. I love it, it’s a turn on for me.” comments a participant of the study.
Let her know you are enjoying yourself. A well-timed compliment, a sexy growl of approval, or a daring whisper of your fantasies can crank the heat up by several notches.
Technique Matters… But It’s Not Everything
A proficient technique is a plus but not an absolute necessity. ‘Good oral technique’, ‘knowledge of positions’, and ‘fingering technique’ were chosen by 20%, 15%, and 14% of women, respectively.
“Foreplay is very important too, fingers, toys, but my favourite is cunnilingus. Omg, that will get my blood hot and heart racing!!!” says BKS listener.
So, you might know the Kama Sutra like the back of your hand, but without emotional connection and responding to her cues, it’s as good as knowing all the moves in chess without understanding the strategy.
Hot and Well-Endowed? Not so Important
The six-pack abs, the chiseled jawline, or wielding a ‘mighty sword’ might sound like prerequisites for being a sex god, but guess what? They’re not as high up on the list as you’d imagine. Only 5% of respondents said that ‘being hot’ matters, and a barely noticeable 3.5% mentioned ‘being well-endowed in the manhood department’. So rest easy, guys. It really isn’t just about the ‘package.’
Key Takeaways on What Makes a Man a Good Love
According to the 1,444 participating in the study, here’s the playbook for how to be a great lover:
- Treat Her Right: Show her you care and put her pleasure first.
- Let It Out: Don’t hold back – express your own pleasure.
- Catch Her Signals: Pay attention and respond to her cues.
- Master The Arts:Particularly with that elusive art form known as cunnilingus.
And to finish off, here is a comment from one of the respondents that pretty much sums it all up: “Foreplay doesn’t start with kissing, penetrative sex is not the only way to have pleasure with a partner, eye contact is everything, looks are irrelevant because the person you want will always be the most beautiful person you’ll have ever seen, and masturbating together is underrated”
So there you have it! The secrets to becoming Casanova aren’t as elusive as you thought.
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